Poopy

Five reasons I, today have poopy pants:

1.  The kids are driving me crazy. School is 2 weeks away, they are bored. I am bored. It is 115 degrees outside at 9am.

2.  The Amazon purchase I was so looking forward to was wrong. My fault not theirs. Still a huge bummer.

3.  I have had a migraine for a week.

4.  I am stir-crazy like a squirrel stuck under a deck. There is no where to go in the hot hot town.

5.  I miss 84025, my friends there, the things to be doing that I would be doing, the 85 degree weather and the mountains.

 

Thank you for letting me vent.

**smiles**

Reflectional?

The funny thing about a mirror is that is shows you what is projected in front of it. 

Not the truth.

Not what is real.

Only what is placed before it. 

A lie painted to be seen as the truth will be seen in reflection to be true.

If a mirror can be fooled, which is only glass masked ….

Then what is used to see truth?


scared

I am scared. To move on. Scared to be an adult, to take care of myself, to embrace the realty that I am a single mom, scared that the stupid fool who I wasted 13 years on and had two children with I may still love in a no-good-self-destructive-kind-of-way. (Amy I know, please do not yell at me) I am scared to move out of Oklahoma. I am scared to stay in Oklahoma. I am scared of being alone, which I am. I am scared that nothing else will be but what is right now.

I want to be a power-single-mom, a super-mom, a champion-soccer-mom… but right now I feel like, not that.

 

 

*”…I don’t go to church because the line long”

Two friends of mine announced via Facebook that they had each lost a close friend today, each no relation to the other but both in car accidents.

Which got me thinking, these two individuals both died around the same time, and I am sure that others in this world lost someone around that same time too. So is there a line when you get to Heaven? Is there this flow of people who just keepflowing, standing waiting and asking each other “what are you in for?” Or is the omnipresent Christ just there to lead you home, hand-in-hand walking with you, holding you and welcoming you home.

I think it’s the latter, “welcome home my child, well done!”

Lord, remind me of how short my time on earth is. That this life is not my home. Pray for the families and friends so they can embrace your peace and love in this time.

 

* Lyrics from “That Ain’t Me” by Lil Wayne featuring Jay Sean from the album “I Am Not A Human Being”.

♬ Music Provides a Path ♪

I began playing music at a very young age, first piano then violin and finally landed on the flute at 6. I hated practicing, I just wanted to be able to pick it up and release the magic inside my head. I competed in competitions and only by the sheer will of my teacher Mrs. Nancy Toone I kept up with it after I discovered boys. Also, I secretly wanted to be better than Jamie Prince who was a violin genius and lived next door. I think music has always been apart of my soul. I feel the closest to God when I am playing, singing, listening or around music. I feel and gain the most inspired my music; David Crowder, Flyleaf, and Sade speak volumes to me, seriously they changed my life. On the flip side, Lil Wayne and Tupac have made a soundtrack to another part of my life, one that drives me to move farther, harder and never give in.

I can’t sing a note. I can still play music if you do not expect grandeur. Tanner and Chandler will be picking a form of music to incorporate into their lives this fall and I can not wait to share with them my love for this 6th sense. Tanner already has a love for music, we’ll sing Johnny Cash and Michael Jackson, Lil Wayne (relax, it’s the clean versions) Da, Da, Da, Fleetwood Mac… so many more.

Also, I have to say nothing beats a record, yes, a real record older the better. The old ones crack and pop with every turn. I love putting on records on my vintage player on rainy days and listen to vintage and antique records with a great book, a comfy chair and either a warm blanket or a warm dog.

What are your top ten artists/songs??    ♪♬♩   How do you enjoy those artists???

My List:

10. Sade – Cherish the Day

9.  Reliant K

8.  Citizen Cope

7.  Flyleaf

6.  Billie Holiday

5.  U2 – Joshua Tree Album

4.  Howie Day

3.  Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Soundtrack

2.  Lil Wayne

1.  David Crowder Band