I would like to inrtroduce a friend of mine, she has given me a lot of gregarious laughter over the years and I thought I would share her wisom and humor with my readers. I introduce the unmistakable Taudry Nichols!

Good morning bright minds, being a guest writer on this blog I suppose I could fill the pages with anything really, but no lets have a focus shall we.

So three things about me:

1. futbal, not football, futbal. Not a sport its a life.

2. men, rich or poor they all lie. Get a good one and love him like a sailor leaving for port.

3. nothing beats a good wine, gossip and great pair of heels.

4. if your don’t have a secret to keep, your life has not been lived.

5. I write in order to be able to breathe.

6. Me and God have a very tumultuous relationship, passionate and pursued with the greatest of life.

7. If you can’t find yourself in Paris, try finding someone else to help you in Paris.

8. Words are not magic, mystical or perfect they are the only divine remnant on earth.

9. fall is the heart of me and the time when my mind speaks.

10. knowledge in any category is worth more than money in any form.

So this is me in ten little sentences. The test of any good author is to test the will of the reader, to bring up feelings that they did not know they had and make the reader want to put the words down and act. If you sit in a chair taking in the words yet do nothing with them, they die; not only do they die the author’s purpose for them dies. You may be asking why this matters, why should you care about words or ideas. Don’t.  Don’t care, act. Be something more and do something more with life than being passive. Explore, see, do, embrace, live, love, fail, fall. I wake up each day and even when I am pissed at the world in all its crap, I still believe there is crap to be had. So, go on, go… then come back and share what good, bad, and ugly things you got to see.

dont they know we are trying to save the earth?

dont they know that trash on the ground is gross?

dont they know that ‘Halo’ is scary and should not be played by kids?

dont they know that growing up is happening, fast?

dont they know killing people is bad?

dont they know that you have to look both ways?

dont they know that God loves them?

All these questions were asked by my kids tonight at dinner. ALL of them.

In Ethics today while discussing ’sexuality’ (not just the hetero.homosexual debate but singel moms, single dads, sex with others inside a marraige that is sexuality my people) and what role Christians and the church has in the fight to embrace this topic, questions came up, the same ones; Just in different form.

The environment is fading, and those God placed into government is not taking action.

People are disrepectful.

People dont care.

Murder, rape, drugs, violence are all choices. Responsibility is as well.

Kids grow up to fast because kids are given the right to play ‘HALO” and ‘Grand Theft Auto’ while their parents argue and drink and work and pretend that its ok becuase hell, they play too.

Leaders are making it ok to kill, cheat, buy ‘Hummers’, have mistresses and all in the name of THE AMERICAN DREAM and the right to ‘pursue happiness’.

They serve in the ‘inner city’ and make belive that the white man understands what goes on behind closed doors. When really they have no idea how real life is for those kids in the inner city. Its not a game its not a movie. Its a dark, nightmare that never ever stops.

White men have big houses and expensive cars with white leather and GPS’s, that is status. When the neighbors come over for wine and cheese and discussion about the economy and the absence of that summer trip to the coast, that is their hardship. They interprete inner city gang wars as ridiculous, and ran by ignorant minorities that raise their taxes. They dont see the 3 yr old little boy that is not learning his letters or his numbers, but learning his colors, the ones his mommy wears and only wears because her boyfirend is a member of a certain gang. They dont see they 10 yr old boy who goes over hand signals with his dad because he will one day soon be called upon to prresent the ‘hood’ just like his dad did at his son’s age. The run or be run over, attitude, and the ones who get out are the outliers.

The white kids have bee-mers and lexus SUV’s, they have high school parties in the woods and pretend that the parents who fuel the liquer are being thier friends. Parents are protecting them from what they would do anyway, this way its “safe.” The white kids bring water bottles to school filled with vodka, take their parents pills and have mix parties, get high off the medicine cabinet and call it legal. Have rampid sex because Paris Hilton and the Kardasians do and they are beautiful and famous, then on sunday they go to church with their parents and  at lunch afterward bitch about the pregant black girl waiting on them that is a little slow because she’s pregant and has been up all night working her three jobs to pay for her kids.

The white kids make fun of the overwieght girl and tease her relentlessly to the point where she kills herself by not eating, and then when she loses the weight become her best friend. Big surprise, my kids are not that way you say, YOU’RE A FOOL.

I can almost gaurentee that your daughter has chatted online with older men, had sex, emailed naked pics of herself and given oral sex to at least one boy. You are kidding yourself if your think your child is innocent. They can’t be. They cant remove thenself from anything beause then they are the enemy, the goody-goody, the prude and the one who could jeopardize the whole thing if she were to step outside the ring of fire and get caught, she would ruin the rests fun. So she stays and burns up in the process, all the while making you believe she is perfect and would never partake in the poison; she is perfect, perfect at hiding, and you couldnt be happier.

THIS IS DISCUSTING, REVOLTING, AND WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?!!

When are you, me, them going to wake the **** up and do something, be something other than afraid of people and start being Christians. Go into that lions den and fire and let Christ embrace the danger and allow his love to be seen by those around us. I am not saying to put on your white armour and stand in the middle of Oakland preaching, but what about educationg your kids, knowing your kids, letting them know you are there and are keeping tabs on them. BE PARENTS, not their friend and stand in the way of them every getting into that hell, and show them how to help others who are drowning. Get to know some families, your neighbors, break bread with them, share a afternoon with them, bring them to look for jobs, show them what Christ has in mind for them. BE SOMETHING other than the problem.

Tonight I had the pleasure of spending a class with the 4th and 5th graders of Capitol Hill Church of Christ, an inner (way inner) city mission church. I have to say my white bread, spoon fed, silver platter view of my bubble was challenged. I have seen the “ghetto” and even been quite comfortable with those inside it (my kids father lives there) but I had not seen the inner city as anything different from the ghetto. It is. Here’s why…

three out of the 7 kids asked for prayers for death, “bad things” parents were doing and loss. One girl came in with fresh tears, later I found out she had gotten in trouble in school for asking a boy to sleep with her (she’s nine) and she said her mother “beat her up”, she had marks on her arms and legs, and a red scrape on her face. She spent the class with the female teacher talking, begging her not to call CPS on her mother because she hated foster care. A boy I talked with said that he was trying to get his dad to stops doing bad things, he kept asking me to color with him, he wanted to talk and watch me color.

WTF is up with parents?? I mean, I have lost my tempter and yelled too loudly, spanked the toosh, been a insensitive parent while hearing the story of the wierd kid in school for the 5th time, oh yeah and had those days where I feel like a complete douche bag parent! BUT… I have never beaten my children.

So again, WTF is up with parents? I know the economy, no jobs, feeding the family and deadbeats to deal with but, i was just broken for these little hearts that are SCREAMING and literary jumping up and down and doing cartwheels for someone to just sit down with them and be interested in their voice.

MY HEART IS SCREAMING for these kids and at the same time I am so totally freaked out and scared of these kids. Scared about their germs, their unkept clothing, their parents who lash out at the world and teachers, worried that their primary school gangs are going to run after me, scared that they will get my attention and call me for everything they need, worried that I might actually fall into their hell and not be able to get out without turning it into something resembling life.

These kids need something more than a prayer and a bible story. They need a friend, stability, balance, understanding, ears that listen to them, a soft place to land, a blank page to vent out all the BS they deal with daily! Then and ONLY then are they going to be able to hear that bible story you are pushing. Because to them, God is absent, he is a fable, a myth, a hope for and a never seen, God is something that is mentioned when a mom yells or a dad stumbles into the table after being drunk all day, God is not a savior, that 15 yr old kid that offers them a 500 dollar bonus for selling the bag of rocks he has and another 1000 when he sells two more – that is his savior because he can feed their family and turn the lights back on and get their moms next drink so she will wake up and act like a mom for a couple of hours. THAT is THEIR CLASS.

So now what? All these ideas are running though my mind. Run in there and save the day, bring the passion from my side of the tracks to theirs, show them God, show them God? What God, the one that allows me a college education with a price tag of 100k, or the God that kept me from being engulfed in the gang lifestyle and the God that delivered me from a promiscuous life, that let me live when others are dying of addiction? That is not their God.  I want to go into that classroom and change everything, bring videos and media and songs and worship. I want to meet with directors and suggest tons of things. Nope. Just love. Not force, just love.

What are your thought?? Be honest!

DEAR my babies, friends, family, relatives, acquaintances,  distant companions, lovers, and loved ones….

first do not fear for the walk was short, the breeze was kind and the way well lit

i know you must be wondering what heaven is like, i was too and i can’t even create the words to speak

Jesus is here, he met me at the door took me in his arms and said “welcome home”

there were no clouds that lead my feet but light that followed us as if it was commanded to do so

the most glorious sounds not from the mouth of angels but the hearts of saints welcoming me back

and praising the King who leads

me into the house, you know that big big house with a “big big yard were we can play football”

oh how i wish you were here, but then i guess you would not be there. and oh, there, how is it there? I almost forgot about ‘there’ i miss them,those little boys that you gave, i miss you and that gentle hand as it squeezes mine and as i look up i see

see him, i see him, God. His arms that are larger than anything I have ever seen, yet small enough to hold my hand, and in his hand, and around me. Oh what a glorious gift this is, this is Love and this is Grace.

i say to God, I miss them, there love and hands, and that little noise they make when they snuggle up against me that smell from there freshly washed hair, the way they run to me when I came home, hearing about their day, sharing their tears, the loud arguments and the whining, can i see them smile, or walk down the isle, give me peace about being in this place with you

please forgive my doubt, my sadness and my fear

can i fear here?

can i hurt?

i am so confused God.

then God said, “Peace my child, let me hold you and wipe your tears, hold you close and let you cry into my hand”

and then he said this “Be Still”

and just as my heart was about to explode with pain from missing you more than i could ever say, i blinked.

“MOMMY. MOMMY!!! i’m home” and i opened my eyes to see you running towards me hand in hand with Jesus and the other arm open as far as the sea.

‘welcome home i said’

Welcome Home…

so do not fear, do not hurt, do not worry, climb into His lap and cry into his hand for i blink and we will be together again.

~me