I am scared. To move on. Scared to be an adult, to take care of myself, to embrace the realty that I am a single mom, scared that the stupid fool who I wasted 13 years on and had two children with I may still love in a no-good-self-destructive-kind-of-way. (Amy I know, please do not yell at me) I am scared to move out of Oklahoma. I am scared to stay in Oklahoma. I am scared of being alone, which I am. I am scared that nothing else will be but what is right now.
I want to be a power-single-mom, a super-mom, a champion-soccer-mom… but right now I feel like, not that.