30 Letters in 30 Days: day two

day two: my crush

Dear Crush Crusherson…


Well this could be awkward considering a crush is defined …

by Google as:


Press or squeeze (someone or something) with force or violence, typically causing serious damage or injury.

by Urban Dictionary as:

a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.

A crush can cause serious injury being that is a complete pseudo relationship. One person (me) has feelings or infatuation with the other person (you).

I am crushing on you for various reasons….

You’re smart, have interests other than nekked women and inappropriate conversations, you have ambitions; like art, cars, art, art, fish tanks, building a lifestyle not just an existence, you don’t live paycheck-to-paycheck (I’m not a gold digger, I just appreciate your fiscal appearance), you can carry a conversation, you make jokes at appropriate times, you like good food and wine, classy dinning & eateries, you travel and the most crushiest of all – you make my knees shake with the sound of your voice.

It’s an odd thing, crushing on a person who can not reciprocate the crush. Kinda of like sugar-free chocolate; it looks like chocolate but when you bite into it you are swiftly aware of the fact that is not the real thing and you are left full of empty calories that are going to you the treadmills bitch in the morning.

But non-the-less in the years since meeting you I have been stirred by you. You are wildly attractive and I can’t help playing over in my mind lunch dates and dinner parties, where we laugh and share  titalicious stories while I hang on your every word and you continually rest your hand on the small of my back until the “code word” is spoken and we excuse ourselves to go home and talk and “cuddle.” (this is not all creeperish)

Alas, I will be fine with remaining your friend from afar. No, really its ok. I’m fine. I would much rather be your friend and conversationalist – its safer this way.


(the non-creeper)


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