day five: my dreams
What a curious things our dreams are. Oscar Wilde said:
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
I think that most of my life I have been a dreamer. Dreaming of something better, something different, something far from anywhere I was or am. Since I can remember I was always someone else; the princess in need of saving or the best mom in the world with the perfect life. It was the mom dream that stuck. I wake up everyday with half of that dream, I think I wanted it so badly that didn’t wait for the dream the mature. I sought it in my own time, I got the mom title without the wife title and everyday I wake up from dreaming, praying for the rest of my dream to come to pass.
I dream of being a wife, maintaing my own home; one filled with music all day long playing in the background, the smell of cinnamon spice and dinner in the oven. With friends from out of town that come to stay in my home in a guest room that has fresh flowers and a featherbed with homemade cookies on the nightstand. Children that come home to a mother not a nanny, who sits down and listens to their whole day over milk and cookies. A family that sits at the dinner table with no TV on and talks about thier day and shares the successes and failure they had, who laugh and giggle. A husband that wants to come home to his wife and family, a man who chooses to spend time on the weekends exploring, taking the boys fishing and having a tea party with his daughter. A man who takes out his wife on dates just so he can hear her talk about her and see her as a woman and not a wife. A man who at the end of the day gets into bed and wraps his arms around me and says “I love you” then makes loves to me like he truly needs me in his life, just like I need him in mine. I want holidays filled with sharing with others, giving back, and more people than the walls can hold. When I’m 101 and looking back on my life, I want my family to know that I fulfilled my dreams by being there for them and for loving them everyday of my life like it was the last day I would get too!
I know it might sound stupid and cliche, but I want nothing more than this. Wife, mother, friend. I ache for it. Daily.
Heres to dreams coming true!