just a simple thought

i am really exploring why i do not think love happens in real life. that two people who ‘care’ for one another may deeply care for each other, may even ‘love’ the other person. but are they so in love with that person that they cherish them, need them, feel lost without them, story-book love them.

when i see couples, i always ask myself the same question: “what is it that connects them, that brings them into this situation. will he be true to her? will she nag him to death? will their life begin and end with each other?” 

i see relationships truly has heartache. a constant battle over who has the upper-hand and who holds power over the others feelings. who does something out of fear that the other will be angry if its not done. a marriage is a lifetime of placating and patronization. this is a real relationship to me. maybe a wrong, but to me this feels, normal. feels right. 

odd isn’t. how i can wish, want and desire something different, yet ache for this dysfunctional familiarity. i do not think i know what a true loving relationship is or looks like. would i know it if i saw it?

just a simple thought. 

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