there is a funny thing that happens at the beginning of each new year; everyone reminds you that this is the time to start anew and fresh, live in the moment and try new things. i am not sure i feel that way this year. last year at this time i was getting ready to move to a new city, start a new career, leave everything behind to live in the moment. it was easy to embrace the unknown and live within the seconds that were just happening around me. this year, when i have been struggling to find my place in my return to captivity – my return home to Oklahoma; i am lost here. the new year brings only more indication of being a captive in this desert. it is difficult to live in the moment when each moment is the same.