God’s Will at Capitol Hill

Tonight I had the pleasure of spending a class with the 4th and 5th graders of Capitol Hill Church of Christ, an inner (way inner) city mission church. I have to say my white bread, spoon fed, silver platter view of my bubble was challenged. I have seen the “ghetto” and even been quite comfortable with those inside it (my kids father lives there) but I had not seen the inner city as anything different from the ghetto. It is. Here’s why…

three out of the 7 kids asked for prayers for death, “bad things” parents were doing and loss. One girl came in with fresh tears, later I found out she had gotten in trouble in school for asking a boy to sleep with her (she’s nine) and she said her mother “beat her up”, she had marks on her arms and legs, and a red scrape on her face. She spent the class with the female teacher talking, begging her not to call CPS on her mother because she hated foster care. A boy I talked with said that he was trying to get his dad to stops doing bad things, he kept asking me to color with him, he wanted to talk and watch me color.

WTF is up with parents?? I mean, I have lost my tempter and yelled too loudly, spanked the toosh, been a insensitive parent while hearing the story of the wierd kid in school for the 5th time, oh yeah and had those days where I feel like a complete douche bag parent! BUT… I have never beaten my children.

So again, WTF is up with parents? I know the economy, no jobs, feeding the family and deadbeats to deal with but, i was just broken for these little hearts that are SCREAMING and literary jumping up and down and doing cartwheels for someone to just sit down with them and be interested in their voice.

MY HEART IS SCREAMING for these kids and at the same time I am so totally freaked out and scared of these kids. Scared about their germs, their unkept clothing, their parents who lash out at the world and teachers, worried that their primary school gangs are going to run after me, scared that they will get my attention and call me for everything they need, worried that I might actually fall into their hell and not be able to get out without turning it into something resembling life.

These kids need something more than a prayer and a bible story. They need a friend, stability, balance, understanding, ears that listen to them, a soft place to land, a blank page to vent out all the BS they deal with daily! Then and ONLY then are they going to be able to hear that bible story you are pushing. Because to them, God is absent, he is a fable, a myth, a hope for and a never seen, God is something that is mentioned when a mom yells or a dad stumbles into the table after being drunk all day, God is not a savior, that 15 yr old kid that offers them a 500 dollar bonus for selling the bag of rocks he has and another 1000 when he sells two more – that is his savior because he can feed their family and turn the lights back on and get their moms next drink so she will wake up and act like a mom for a couple of hours. THAT is THEIR CLASS.

So now what? All these ideas are running though my mind. Run in there and save the day, bring the passion from my side of the tracks to theirs, show them God, show them God? What God, the one that allows me a college education with a price tag of 100k, or the God that kept me from being engulfed in the gang lifestyle and the God that delivered me from a promiscuous life, that let me live when others are dying of addiction? That is not their God.  I want to go into that classroom and change everything, bring videos and media and songs and worship. I want to meet with directors and suggest tons of things. Nope. Just love. Not force, just love.

What are your thought?? Be honest!


Let The Children Come to Him…

Gina McClain has posted a FABULOUS post about children and thier hearts for Jesus. I stand with her in the idea that Children can and do have the heart to live thier lives for Christ. IF we but allow them and give them the tools and support to do so. I you have not heard about Jesus Camp, it is a camp for children to experience and draw closer to God. I love this video of this young lady who has a big heart for Christ and shares him with a stranger at the bowling alley…that is awesome. What could we do if we really believed that Christ has given us all the power and support we need to do anything he calls us to. We can move mountains, build cities, create lives for those whom he calls us to.  What could we accomplish? What is your dream? What would you do if you really believed Christ would not let you fail?

I am Starving Jesus! Are You??

images.jpeg So the good ol’ guys from xxxchurch.com are on the road again doing what they do best…stirring up the comfortable. They are working with the creator of Starving Jesus and have filmed the doc and thier road time merriment for us to joyful watch and discuss. In addition to speaking and different church accross the US they also commited to do a 40 day fast. (wow, thats a long time) Only drinking water and juice. SO what?Here’s where I come in. I want to get out my pew and DO SOMETHING. I am working on preparing for a 40 day fast. I wont tell you when I doing it but I will tell you when it is over and what I learned and what I gained and what I GAVE! I plan on doing this to get closer to my God who right now is close to me but I am further than the moon from Him. I need to stirred…I am too comfortable.  Any of you who would want to do this with me you can watch the video and see if God brings you to do something, like fast. If you would like to do this with me let me know and we can share our experiences together. I know that in the end of this I will be closer and know more about myself and God I cant wait to share it with you.   

Through the Looking Glass

Scott Rogers spoke at Lifechurch.tv last weekend about how we look at our Everlasting Father through the eyes of what we see our earthly father as. I have pondered on this for the last couple of days to see how this fits into my relationship with both God and my dad.

I have looked at God through production and consequences. I have seen God as accepting me on the grounds of the my actions, if I mess up he punishes, if I do well he is not impressed, if I do better, I could have done something better than that. God loves me as long as I perform. When I fail he is quick to punish and correct.


God does not LOVE this way.

He is quick to love, slow to speak, and fast to embrace. He is not a God of circumstance, or punishment, or a love based on behavior. He loves me (us) no matter what we do. He may allow consequence to correct, but He still loves us.

Knowing this I decided to remove the dad goggles and look at God for what He and who He is. It will take time but you can too. Remove the lens to which to see Him and allow Him to penetrate you heart. Find His embrace and let Him love you.

This week I was sure that I would not pass this semester therefore I would not have aide and be able to continue working on my degree where I am at. God showed me that “Yes you did mess up, and you dont’ deserve to have a second chance, BUT, because I love you I will show you grace and mercy and you may continue what you are doing” He corrected me and showed me Grace. Something only HE could do. I am so thankful for His mercy and His Love.

When you take of the dad Goggles, what God do you see? Have you the courage to do so.

Prayer Works, Duh!

I have been praying and praying for a opportunity to meet other Christ Followers here at campus and today God showed up in the form of a classmate at the mailbox. She invited me to her lifegroup and actually is on my team on the Saturday experience at LifeChurch.tv HOW COOL is that! Thank you Jesus…more Glory to you!

On the way to GLORY!

Larry, who you watch in this video died 2 weeks after this was shown in church.

I ask you what are you doing to leave a legacy, a glory, a life behind that will live on after you go home. What are you chasing that does not matter? What treasures are you storing today that will not matter tomorrow? Are you living so that others may see Christ in your life?


I don’t know any more about theology than a jack rabbit does about ping-pong but I’m on the way to glory” – Billy Sunday

The Perfect Gift

images.jpegWith the holiday season kicked off and the stores overflowing with shoppers, I ask myself “how much can I spend on those around me?” “what can I give them, what’s the perfect gift?”No thought really (until now) of what I can share, what I can show, what I can tell. How can I empower and embrace those who don’t have the GIFT of Christ in their lives?  How can I be Christ in their life?With the thought of the perfect gift being on everyone’s mind for the next 4 weeks, think how you can share Christ’s Perfect gift of love and sacrifice. You are the reason for the season, He came to die for YOU!  John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He sent His only son, that whoever believed in Him would not perish but have eternal life.  

The Storm Brewith…

In yesterdays discussion of the Great Depression one of my classmates stated that political leaders are arguing poverty from a state of abundance, I argue that they can not come up with a workable solution because they are apart of the problem. We have the resources to stop hunger, give jobs and help those go from surviving to thriving. But when America spends roughly 2 billion a year on ice cream what are the odds that we actually will.

We live in abundance. We eat out most of our meals, go to coffee houses and consume multitudes of resources. We argue about prices at the pump but refuse to walk, we get mad if the cable goes out and we (GASP) can not watch Greys. When on the other side of the world children are taught how to survive the food shortages in times of “abundance” by learning to fast for weeks at a time, for the simple reason to be able to survive when “abundance” is null. When we are airing stories on the evening news about how pastors live in “abundance” while the rest of their congregation live in normalcy is crazy. When did we become consumed with abundance?

I admit I sit here writing this looking at programs that were waiting for me on my Tivo, and warm and very fed. So, I admit I am part of the problem. What am I going to do about, like you I will be disgusted for a hour or two pass this on to someone through email and by tomorrow morning forget about it. Go on living and enjoying the abundance of life and feel sorry for those who don’t have the luxury of it, pray for them and move on….

or will I?

Honestly is this you too?

Wednesday in THE WORD

So this week I have been thinking about what to write and hoping that it is something amazing and inspiring, wanting to spark an thought and provoke a light you all.


God spoke and I realized that all that was is me wanting to shine not allowing God to shine though me and allow Him the Glory for my words. So here is what God is saying to me in the last couple of days.

You are missing out on me and I am missing out on you. You are messing up, and that’s ok because I still love you more than life itself. But I need you to get with it and start being a contributor to life. Stop waiting on life to find you and stand and take care of yourself because I need you to Love me.

I will seek Him

You Got Served!

On Swerve today LifeKids Cast Member Leader extraordinaire Toni Quinton raises a great point. One that I am guilty of. The world in which you and I live in is bombarded with expectation we place on those in which we spend our time and money. We expect that when we go into Starbucks to get our $5 coffee that they not only give it to us perfectly but with a smile and know our name. We expect that when we go to church that there are fresh donuts, coffee and someone there to hold our hand and walk us to our seat then as we leave give us free stuff.

As one of the experience captains for the LifeKids I know that I doubt my own leadership to my team of great people that are in the rooms every weekend being Jesus to parents, kids and those around us. I have not been much of a leader in the last month, I have been a consumer.

This ministry is too much, I have so much going on, I can’t be here and survive at home too, something has to give.

I want to give. I know that in the past when I have put my heart into serving, my life is so much smoother. My hours seem longer and somehow God creates a day in which I get everything done, with time left over for me. It just works.

So if you would pray for me as I pray for you. Lets stop thinking about serving ourselves and be apart of something bigger, something that God is already doing. Bring His family together. Stop expecting to be served and start being the hands and feet of Christ. Being served only lasts that moment, serving others with leave a legacy.