Speakeasy

This morning while making out the job bag for the boys (you know Saturday chores, well we’re trying it)Chores I went to my phone to get a verse that was in my head to talk to them with in parallel to chores and attitude; this is what I found.

23 Whatever you are doing,t work at it with enthusiasm,t as to the Lord and not for people. Col. 3

I hope this verse will speak to them, because, it ended up speaking right through me.

This is me lately:

  • broke
  • worried about every single half cent
  • working half a**ed to please people, PEOPLE.
  • trying to get through school so my “investors” are happy
  • acting like a good mom so no one sees the fear, guilt, emptiness and gut wrenching hope that we will one day be more than mediocre
  • making every decision based on the idea that it will be the best for “us” not for Him.
  • I have lost sight of the goal
  • I have lost sight of my purpose, my vision, my Chazown
  • I forgot who signed my story

I remember a time in my life where I lived by this verse. To be honest my life was the opposite of the above list. I had money always, never worried about meals, needs, outcomes, because I had a peace that surpassed all that. That does not mean that my life was without pain or hurt or fear but I had an understanding that things were taken care of and my focus was on Him. God was the air in my lungs and the life I lived for.

Just this morning a caught a glimpse of the life I have had and honestly missed, willing to work for Him, giving up control so he can take command.

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