i am sure that you have seen the film Signs, a film by M. Night Shyamalan portraying the different “signs” within a families life in relation to a alien encounter.
in the scene in the basement while the family is hiding from the (spoiler alert) alien encounter, the young son has a asthma attack, to which his medications are upstairs with the danger and can not be reached. the father holds his son and during this says to him “…do not be scared … the air is coming … believe …”
this has become my mantra lately. as i have no idea what i am doing, how this is going to work out or how the questions and concerns are going to be answered or problems solved. i am scared, really scared – that this will all be in vain and i will fail. not only am i afraid that i am going to fail, but that i am going to let those down who invested time, and frankly and large some of money into this. i am terrified that i am not good enough and i will snuff out not only my light but those who depend on me to be a leader, a mother.
i am gasping for air telling myself that “… the air is coming”. my heart waits knowing the air is coming, my brain however, is just thinking.
the air is coming, the air is coming, my air is coming …
Every summer (i hate summer) the only thing I look forward to is opening the pool so I can do this…
Jump into the cool water and just watch. Watch the bubbles surround me, hold me and without any sound speak peace. I love it. I would stay under water for hours – if I could get past the drowning thing.
This week has been a whirlwind, a ever racing flood of chaos, projects, missed assignments and forgotten meetings. To say the least I have been one step behind all week. With the boys it seems like they have been over-active, argumentitive, and frustrating.
I say all this to bring you to where I am trying to be. In the arms of the one who never lets me go, is constantly holding me through it all.
I have forgotten to worship!
I forgotten to lose myself within His breath.
My favorite way to worship is to drive. Drive out in the middle of everything, the fresh air, the smell of grass and leaves, the roads where no one drives. I roll down all the windows, put on David Crowder, Shane & Shane, and other favs. Turn up the volume as loud as I can and just exhale. The pure joy of hearing the words, the music and feeling the air between my hair brings me to a place so warm and whole that I get lost in time and space. I feel Christ with me and hear him leading me. I worship!
How do you worship? Not meaning sitting in a church, or singing along with the choir but within day to day life? How you worshipoutside the walls of church?