thought:s

i am sick of sleeping alone
praying for someone to fill the space between the sheets and sunrise.
i am sick of hearing “in due time” or
“the right person is out there!”
where? where the fuck are you?
did you fall down, get lost, forget about me?
i am aching to be your wife, for “honey im home”
for arguments about the kids and make up sex
for dinner dates and sunday morning snuggles
im scared it will never happen
i am not desperate
i am without my pair.

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mY wIsH LisT

**this video is my favorite from childhood – its how i picture myself telling God what my heart desires [like his doesn’t already know, lol]

Tanner has been asking about a husband, telling me his wish list for this person (cute, eh?) so here’s mine:

  1. must be hot! not talking cute, good looking, nice – I want hot! I have wasted too much time on acceptable.
  2. by hot: tall-er 5’11 – 6’3, well groomed, hair, light or really dark eyes, baby soft skin, no unibrow, eyelashes longer than mine, own a pair of nose trimmers and use them, ears (sounds simple but you never know), no hair issues on chest stomach or back, does not need to look like a body builder but I do appreciate a nice physique, a a** would be fun but not too much, no kankles, nice feet.
  3. Knows how to dress – I dig peacoats, turtlenecks, trousers, shoes that do not have letter or animals or characters on them, boxer or boxer briefs, no excessive chains medallions rings or earrings, piercing are ok if well done.
  4. THE MAJOR STUFF
  5. HONEST
  6. FAITHFUL
  7. COMES HOME TO ME
  8. LOVES GOD WITH ALL HIS LIFE
  9. Cooks
  10. eats
  11. sleeps
  12. likes dogs cats and enjoys spending time around my animals (i have a sphinx)
  13. likes to travel to new places and explore them
  14. will travel with WITH me
  15. not afraid to try new food places things ideas
  16. is smart i mean really smart in a backward not so noticeable way (like the brains of dickinson, dorothy parker, southpark creators, Steve jobs, Mike Rowe, lil wayne [seriously read his lyrics  – they are genius])
  17. LOVES MY KIDS AND WANTS TO MAKE BABIES
  18. BRITISH ACCENTS ARE BONUS
  19. loves to watch movies (i like bollywood a lot)
  20. likes to talk on walks
  21. loves to go driving
  22. take me out – alot
  23. like to have people over to play games like Cranium and cards
  24. Like to travel with other families
  25. thinks prostitution, porn, cheating on ones partner, lying and deception are negative to a growing relationship
  26. LIKES MY FRIENDS
  27. likes snow, skiing and mountains
  28. does not hold it against me that i do not dig yardwork
  29. loves to grow things like veggies
  30. thinks organic is the only way to go
  31. understands that i could have a orgasm everytime i go to wholefoods – its that wonderful! and does not think that is weird.
  32. loves that i share my secrets with him and that he shares his with me.
  33. TAKES MY BOYS TO GAMES, PARK, RIDE BIKES, FISHING, CAMPING, TO GET DIRTY AND DIG IN THE DIRT – all the things they missed out on.
  34. knows that i am a little quirky  – but loves it!
  35. is proud of me
  36. thinks im beautiful even with pjs and tears
  37. loves to dress me up and show me off
  38. understands that i think outloud and loves to here me talk
  39. know im an idea person and loves it
  40. loves that i dream
  41. lets me love him
  42. lets me take care of him
  43. lets me stay home and raise our family even though he knows i could be doing something amazing at the office
  44. doesn’t get mad when i forget stuff or fall asleep during the movie
  45. reads to the boys
  46. leads the boys in Christ
  47. prays with and for us and our family
  48. doesn’t mind coming home to mess sometimes
  49. is my friend, lover, and  knows when to be them and when to let me be his
  50. knows my 5 loves languages and let me know his
  51. is my knight in shinning armour
  52. lets me be me
  53. laughs at me when i make dinner and it burns because i had to share with him the news of the day
  54. loves that i run to him
  55. is open to me loving him in the quirky ways i do
  56. loves the notes i leave on his car  and in his breifcase and on his  phone
  57. loves that i surprise him with things
  58. loves that i am a lady but a freak in bed
  59. loves that i love him
  60. loves that we have blessings
  61. understands that money and things are not as important as family and life
  62. HE NEVER RAISES HIS VOICE TO ME OR THE KIDS
  63. WOULD NEVER HIT OR ABUSE ME OR THE KIDS
  64. WOULD NEVER BRING SOMETHING INTO OUR LIVES THAT WOULD HURT US
  65. is strong
  66. knows how to fix stuff bc i sure dont
  67. he knows how to laugh at life
  68. has tattoos not bc its cool but bc they mean something to him
  69. is an artist
  70. has a job
  71. has a career
  72. established
  73. loves that i grew up the way i did
  74. knows me inside and out
  75. willing
  76. trusts
  77. gives
  78. takes
  79. provides
  80. shares
  81. not sure if i could do *secret* that…. i trust you God.
  82. IS A MAC
  83. or if he is a pc is willing to convert.
  84. knows the 2 BIG SECRETS about me and does not care but supports me in the struggle.
  85. LOVES GOD MORE THAN ME – and knows i do too!

ok so this is it! if you fit the bill – APPLY!