i’ve been in bed all damn day – but, its not the reason you think.

so i have spent all weekend primarily in bed. i wish i could say that i’ve been ill, or at least not well. i wish i could share a story filled with romanticized escapades involving the greatest lover, or some cheeky pillow talk and scandalous stories of  love. alas, none are the case. i have spent much of the weekend reading, researching designers portfolios and trying to assimilate into knowing what i am learning or least make a case for pretending i know what i am doing. i have been watching tutorials, scouring the internet for ideas, filling up pages in my look books/sketch books, listening to music that outside of this room would not be considered socially acceptable and staring out the window at times for long periods of seconds listening to the train and the tiny ice flakes hit my window. here in this room, in this bed, where it is mostly quiet i have been submerging myself into this world, this information that is more vast than oceans, and still i feel i have only scraped the tip of the iceberg.

i do not like Beethoven

i love classical music for many reasons. the most fluent being it can be the soundtrack to anything; love, sex, anger, thought. it evokes emotion like no other music genre. it gives power to vision and strength to movement. 

when i was young i played the flute, from the time i was 8 until i was 16 and then some in college. i never appreciated the music i played, i saw it as a boring gesture that must be made to the musical gods. something that was uncool and tedious. although, secretly in an omission that i will never own up to, i loved the way it got under my skin. the way it seemed to moved me when i was playing. the way it took on its own persona and made me move with its rhythm. 

now watching my son learn to play the piano, and enduring his constant questions as to why he has to learn this “boring crap that will never mean anything”, i am reminded that not only will he one day (i hope) find it moving, but also find that its moves those who hear his playing. 

side note: i do not like Beethoven. his music, beautiful. his airtime – overused. 




inspired by this i chose to share my essentials.

daily bagel and americano on ice (i like hot)

my macbook (it holds all my secrets)

Pandora Radio – i never go a day without it.

flip flops – i know its cold out. (i don’t like hot)


#FSG  – it is my Vade Mecum

Burts Bees lip balm

earbuds – never know when you are going to have to black something out

iPhone – my life is on it


–share your essentials

♬ Music Provides a Path ♪

I began playing music at a very young age, first piano then violin and finally landed on the flute at 6. I hated practicing, I just wanted to be able to pick it up and release the magic inside my head. I competed in competitions and only by the sheer will of my teacher Mrs. Nancy Toone I kept up with it after I discovered boys. Also, I secretly wanted to be better than Jamie Prince who was a violin genius and lived next door. I think music has always been apart of my soul. I feel the closest to God when I am playing, singing, listening or around music. I feel and gain the most inspired my music; David Crowder, Flyleaf, and Sade speak volumes to me, seriously they changed my life. On the flip side, Lil Wayne and Tupac have made a soundtrack to another part of my life, one that drives me to move farther, harder and never give in.

I can’t sing a note. I can still play music if you do not expect grandeur. Tanner and Chandler will be picking a form of music to incorporate into their lives this fall and I can not wait to share with them my love for this 6th sense. Tanner already has a love for music, we’ll sing Johnny Cash and Michael Jackson, Lil Wayne (relax, it’s the clean versions) Da, Da, Da, Fleetwood Mac… so many more.

Also, I have to say nothing beats a record, yes, a real record older the better. The old ones crack and pop with every turn. I love putting on records on my vintage player on rainy days and listen to vintage and antique records with a great book, a comfy chair and either a warm blanket or a warm dog.

What are your top ten artists/songs??    ♪♬♩   How do you enjoy those artists???

My List:

10. Sade – Cherish the Day

9.  Reliant K

8.  Citizen Cope

7.  Flyleaf

6.  Billie Holiday

5.  U2 – Joshua Tree Album

4.  Howie Day

3.  Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Soundtrack

2.  Lil Wayne

1.  David Crowder Band

ME and the things that make me super.

Why I love me:

i love period films like The Duchess, Pride & Prejudice, Becoming Jane, Vanity Fair

i love goofy things such as silly string fights, swimming with my clothes on, baking all day just to take a cake to the neighbors

I live life freely, embracing the small things that embrace me

my boys saved my life

i know that tomorrow is not promised and the gift of each breath is a blessing

i believe in true love

“i believe i have done some things in life too early and others too late”

i would rather spend an afternoon floating in the pool because the water is so clear that you can see for miles, than cleaning

I love curling up with a book, my puppy in a large comfy chair

sometimes there is no redo, it is just ruined

i ache for a husband – but i love that achy feeling because that means i did not settle for less than Gods best

I have the coolest friends

i could out organize Jeff Lewis (Flipping Out, Bravo)

i want to learn (better) french, farsi, hindi and russian

i hold onto memories like some hold onto pennies

“one day” is closer and closer everyday

i dont like fig newtons – they are weird, matter of fact so are raisins

i hate touching meat, but i love eating it

seafood smells gross – i wont eat it. ever.

i will get to the Eiffel tower one day, then i will spend the entire day laying beneath it and absorbing its greatness

I have more passion for life, people and the world around me than I think anyone really cares to see.


This week has been a whirlwind, a ever racing flood of chaos, projects, missed assignments and forgotten meetings. To say the least I have been one step behind all week. With the boys it seems like they have been over-active, argumentitive, and frustrating. 

I say all this to bring you to where I am trying to be. In the arms of the one who never lets me go, is constantly holding me through it all.

I have forgotten to worship!

I forgotten to lose myself within His breath.

My favorite way to worship is to drive. Drive out in the middle of everything, the fresh air, the smell of grass and leaves, the roads where no one drives. I roll down all the windows, put on David Crowder, Shane & Shane, and other favs. Turn up the volume as loud as I can and just exhale. The pure joy of hearing the words, the music and feeling the air between my hair brings me to a place so warm and whole that I get lost in time and space. I feel Christ with me and hear him leading me. I worship

How do you worship? Not meaning sitting in a church, or singing along with the choir but within day to day life? How you worship outside the walls of church?